Strong Women – what exactly does that mean? Why is it so important to be classed as a strong women? For as long as I can remember I have hated the phrase, for the sole reason the opposite to strong is weak!
I remember 2 years into founding the Charity Motherwell I was offered the opportunity to consider running a Strong Womens course at childrens centre, I refused based on the concept of the course. Strong women courses are usually targeted to women who have experienced an element of trauma in their lives and by the nature of them still being here and existing is a testament to their strength, strong women indeed.
In the counselling room I listen to women reliving a sexual assault, a rape, living in an abusive marriage describing themselves as weak. I say everytime, I don’t see a weak women a see a women with strength, a women with resilience that gets up everyday and works on herself to be the best version of themselves. Truth is I know many women that are perceived as being strong that wouldn’t have the resilience of many women that classed themselves as weak, I include myself in that category.
Somehow overtime vulnerability and being emotional is perceived as weakness and so women shy away from showing any vulnerability for fear of judgement and not being able to cope. I again include myself in this, yet I would describe myself as strong and very resilient.
We hear a lot about organisations being trauma informed in particular mental health organisations. What we need is society to be trauma informed. To understand what it is like to be a survivor of trauma is so important for everyone to understand. They will then understand that its takes pure strength to survive any trauma – no weakness at all.
I say time and time again language is so important, words are important and can be a lasting memory for anyone. I have read about some of the courses and language that are used for projects/ courses and I find it totally unbelievable some of the names that organisations think are fine to use, Repeat Removals project, troubled families etc. For our projects I have always wanted to have uplifting titles so people could be proud of being part of it, such as Believe Project, Inspire Project. I hope women don’t have shame when telling people what project they are involved in.
Well that’s my little rant, but why writing this it has made me realise I want to do more work around trauma and educating people on the impact of trauma. I am not sure what this looks like just yet, but I am sure I will figure it out.